One of the most beautiful things about being a grandparent is watching our grandchildren grow into the adults God created them to be.

But if we’re truthful, it can also tug at our hearts in ways we didn’t expect.

It seems like yesterday they were little.

Little hands reaching for ours. Little voices calling our names. They had time to sit with us, ride in the car with us, spend the night, tell us their stories, and simply be near us.

Back then, they needed us in so many little ways.

And then we blink.

The child becomes a teenager, the teenager becomes a young adult, and before we know it, we’re watching them graduate, begin careers, fall in love, build homes, travel, marry, and create lives of their own.

And we couldn’t be prouder.

There is something incredibly special about looking at a successful, capable adult and remembering the little child they used to be.

What a privilege to have had a front-row seat to their becoming.

Yet somewhere in all that pride is another feeling grandparents don’t always talk about.

As their lives become fuller, we sometimes quietly wonder:

Will they still have time for us?

Not because we want to hold them back.

Quite the opposite.

We prayed for them to grow up.

We prayed for them to become independent.

We prayed that doors would open, that they would find meaningful work, good people, love, purpose, and happiness.

We wanted them to have full lives.

And then God answers those prayers—and suddenly their lives really are full.

Careers become demanding. Relationships become important. Friends, responsibilities, travel, homes and eventually families of their own fill their calendars.

They don’t need Grandma and Grandpa the way they once did.

And that’s where a grandparent’s heart has to learn a new kind of love.

We have to let the relationship grow up too.

We don’t want our grandchildren spending time with us because they feel guilty or obligated.

We want them to call because they want to hear our voices.

We want them to visit because our home still feels like home to them.

We want them to sit at our table because they enjoy being there.

We want to hear about their careers, their dreams, their accomplishments, their disappointments, their funny stories and even the ordinary details of their lives.

And perhaps most of all, we want them to know that even though they don’t need us like they did when they were little, there will always be a place in our hearts and our lives where they belong.

So we learn not to hold too tightly.

We try not to make them feel guilty when they’re busy.

We don’t measure their love by the number of phone calls or visits.

We remind ourselves that their independence isn’t rejection.

It’s what growing up looks like.

And instead of trying to remain at the center of their lives, we become a steady place on the side of the road.

A place where they are always welcome.

A voice that encourages rather than controls.

An ear that listens without immediately correcting.

A heart that celebrates their victories without taking credit for them.

A home where they can walk through the door at 8 or 28 or 48 and know one thing hasn’t changed:

They are deeply loved here.

There may be times when we don’t agree with every decision they make. They may see the world differently than we do. Their generation isn’t ours, and their journey with God belongs to them.

We can share wisdom when it’s welcomed, but we also have to respect the adults they’ve become.

Sometimes the most loving thing a grandparent can say is:

“I trust you. I’m proud of you. I’m here if you need me.”

And then we pray.

Oh, how grandparents pray.

We prayed for them when they were little, and perhaps we pray even more now that they’re grown.

We pray over their careers and relationships.

We pray for their health and safety.

We pray that God gives them wisdom.

We pray that they will know Him and walk closely with Him.

We pray over decisions they may never even tell us they’re making.

And yes, sometimes we pray a little prayer for ourselves too:

“Lord, as their world gets bigger, please let there always be a little room in it for us.”

Not because we want them to stay children.

We don’t.

We want them to fly.

We just hope that every once in a while, they’ll fly home.

Proverbs 17:6 says:

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged.”

What a crown they are.

What a blessing to have known them as babies, watched them become children, cheered them through the growing years, and now have the privilege of knowing them as adults.

The relationship changes.

It has to.

But different doesn’t have to mean distant.

In fact, there is something beautiful waiting on the other side of childhood—a relationship where we aren’t simply Grandma and Grandpa taking care of a little one anymore.

We become friends.

We laugh together.

We share stories.

We learn from them, too.

We watch with pride as they make their own way in this world.

And every now and then, we catch a familiar expression or hear a certain laugh, and for just a second we see that little child again.

Our hearts remember.

They may outgrow our laps.
They may outgrow needing our help.
They may build lives that are wonderfully full and busy.

But they will never outgrow our love.

So we loosen our grip, keep our door open, and place them in God’s hands.

And when they call just to talk, walk through the door unexpectedly, ask what we’re doing this weekend, or sit down beside us like they did all those years ago…

we treasure it.

Because one of life’s greatest blessings isn’t simply watching our grandchildren grow up.

It’s discovering that after they grow up, they still choose to come back and spend a little time with us.