What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?

When Negative Thoughts Show Up Uninvited

By Deb Andio

Someone recently asked me, “What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?”

I had to think about that for a while because, let’s be honest, negative thoughts have a way of showing up without an invitation.

One minute you’re feeling pretty good. The next, you’re looking in the mirror thinking, “Wait… was that wrinkle there yesterday?” Or you discover a random chin hair that apparently grew overnight and wonder if your face is staging a rebellion.

Then there are the deeper thoughts.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m too old.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I should have accomplished more by now.”

“I feel like this disease or condition is taking over my entire life. I don’t even feel like I have a life anymore.”

Or those old voices from childhood that somehow still echo decades later. Isn’t it amazing how something someone said to us years ago can suddenly replay in our minds as if it happened yesterday?

Negative thoughts don’t care how successful you’ve become or how much you’ve overcome. They sneak in anyway.

The truth is, we live in a world that constantly feeds negativity. Turn on the news. Scroll through social media. Listen to political debates. Read the comments section if you’re feeling especially brave. Even well-meaning people sometimes speak words that discourage instead of uplift.

If we’re not careful, our minds become a storage unit for everyone else’s negativity.

That’s why we have to become intentional about replacing those thoughts.

I love the saying:

“You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.”

Negative thoughts may visit.

They don’t have to move in.

As a person of faith, I remind myself that I was created in God’s image. That means my worth isn’t determined by a wrinkle, a number on the scale, someone else’s opinion, or a mistake I made twenty years ago.

You are not your worst day.

You are not your biggest failure.

You are not the lie someone told you.

You are valuable simply because you are you.

Here’s a challenge.

Every single time a negative thought enters your mind, answer it with something positive.

Think of it as arguing with your inner critic—and this time, you get the last word.

Negative thought:

“I’m getting old.”

Replace it with:
“I’ve earned every year I’ve lived, and each one has taught me something valuable.”

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Negative thought:

“I don’t look good anymore.”

Replace it with:
“My body has carried me through every joy, every heartbreak, every challenge, and it’s still carrying me today.”

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Negative thought:

“I’m not smart enough.”

Replace it with:
“I can learn something new every single day.”

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Negative thought:

“I’ve made too many mistakes.”

Replace it with:
“My mistakes became some of my greatest teachers.”

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Negative thought:

“I’m not successful.”

Replace it with:
“I’m still writing my story.”

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Negative thought:

“No one cares.”

Replace it with:
“I matter, even when I don’t feel like it.”

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Negative thought:

“I’ll never change.”

Replace it with:
“Growth happens one small step at a time.”

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Negative thought:

“I can’t do this.”

Replace it with:
“I may not know how yet, but I can learn.”

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Negative thought:

“I’ll never lose this weight.”

Replace it with:
“Every healthy choice I make today is moving me in the right direction.”

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Negative thought:

“I have too many wrinkles.”

Replace it with:
“They’re proof that I’ve laughed, cried, lived, and loved.”

(Although… I’d still like to have a conversation with whichever wrinkle invited its friends overnight.)

Here’s something else that helps.

Every morning, stand in front of the mirror—even if your hair looks like you wrestled an alligator in your sleep—and say something kind to yourself.

Try these:

• I am worthy.
• I am enough.
• I am stronger than I think.
• I have purpose.
• I am loved.
• I am capable.
• I am not my diagnosis there is more to me than my disease or condition
• God created me with value.
• Today is a new beginning.
• I choose peace over fear.
• I choose gratitude over negativity.

Will this magically erase every negative thought?

No.

But just like exercising strengthens your muscles, practicing positive thinking strengthens your mind.

The more you challenge negative thoughts, the less power they have over you.

Remember this:

You cannot always control the first thought that pops into your head.

But you absolutely can control whether you invite it to stay for coffee.

Choose words that build you up.

Choose people who encourage you.

Choose gratitude.

Choose hope.

And most importantly…

Choose to believe the truth about yourself instead of the lies your inner critic keeps trying to sell you.

Your mind is listening.

Make sure you’re telling it something worth believing.

Have a blessed day

Peace ☮️

Deb