Posted in Family

“Forgiveness: Bridging the Chasm of Family Estrangement”

In the tapestry of family, love is often the thread that binds generations together. Yet, the painful reality exists where adult children choose to ghost their parents, leaving a void that echoes with untold stories of hurt and estrangement. As followers of Christ, our journey is one of compassion, understanding, and, above all, forgiveness.

The Complexity of Parent-Child Relationships

In the vast spectrum of parental roles, we encounter a diverse range of individuals – from great parents to those who stumble along the way. The desire for connection and love between parents and children is universal, but sometimes, the path becomes marred by unresolved conflicts and unspoken pain.

Forgiveness as a Christian Imperative

Christ’s teachings emphasize the transformative power of forgiveness. As we navigate the complex landscape of strained family relationships, we are called to embody Christ’s love by extending forgiveness, even when the wounds run deep. It’s a challenging path, but through Christ’s example, we find the strength to release the burden of resentment.

Understanding the Silent Struggle

Sharon’s story mirrors the silent struggles many parents face when their adult children choose estrangement. The emotional pain of abandonment is akin to a crucible, testing faith, resilience, and the capacity to forgive. As Christians, we are reminded that Christ’s love is boundless, transcending even the most profound hurts.

Healing the Heartbreak through Compassion

When faced with the choice to be ghosts in our parents’ lives or grown-ups fostering relationships, the teachings of Christ guide us toward compassion. Remembering Christ’s compassion for us in our imperfections encourages us to extend the same grace to our parents, irrespective of their flaws.

The Power of Forgiveness in Rebuilding Bridges

Forgiveness isn’t a condoning of wrongs; rather, it’s a liberation from the shackles of resentment. It’s a journey toward rebuilding fractured relationships, inspired by the hope that echoes from the Cross. As Christ forgave us, we are called to forgive, fostering reconciliation and healing.

Overcoming Guilt and Shame

Parents grappling with abandonment often bear the weight of guilt and shame. As believers, we must approach them with empathy, recognizing that forgiveness extends not only to adult children but also to parents who may have made mistakes. The redemptive power of Christ’s love is vast, covering even the most broken relationships.

Embodying Christ’s Love through Reconciliation

In the face of verbal abuse and intentional harm, the Christian response is rooted in love. Seeking support and understanding becomes a testament to our commitment to Christ’s teachings. By embodying Christ’s love through reconciliation, we can be beacons of hope in a world where familial wounds run deep.

The Unspoken Pain of Unforgiveness

As Sharon’s story and others like hers illuminate the unspoken pain of parental abandonment, we are called to reflect on the consequences of unforgiveness. Christ’s parable of the unmerciful servant reminds us of the reciprocal nature of forgiveness – we receive it as we extend it to others.

A Call to Christian Compassion

As Christians, we are urged to break the chains of estrangement through the transformative power of forgiveness. The essence of our faith lies in the profound truth that we are all recipients of God’s grace. In embodying Christ’s teachings, let us be instruments of reconciliation, healing the wounds of parental abandonment and fostering a love that reflects the boundless mercy of our Savior.

Posted in Blessed, Christmas

Joseph’s Silent Strength: A Perspective on the Birth of Jesus

The night that changed the world

Advent is a unique time of year when the Church remembers the gifts Christ brought to all of creation on that first Christmas. That moment changed everything, and it truly was a holy night.

The story of the birth of Jesus is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful narratives ever told. Often, the focus is on Mary, the shepherds, and the Magi, (The biblical Magi —also known as the Three Wise Men, Three Kings, and the Three Magi—were distinguished foreigners in the Gospel of Matthew and Christian tradition. They are said to have visited Jesus after his birth, bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh)

but there’s another crucial character in this divine drama – Joseph. Imagine the myriad of emotions he must have experienced throughout this extraordinary journey.

In Matthew 1:18-25, we catch a glimpse of Joseph’s side of the story. A good and godly man, Joseph faced a dilemma when he discovered Mary’s unexpected pregnancy. Considering a quiet divorce, he must have been torn between his love for Mary and the societal expectations of the time.

Yet, Joseph’s character shines through when an angel of the Lord appears to him in a dream. This divine intervention transforms his confusion into understanding and obedience. In a world quick to judge, Joseph’s silent strength and obedience to God’s plan demonstrate an extraordinary level of faith and humility.

Consider the weight on Joseph’s shoulders – accepting a miraculous conception, embracing Mary and the imminent role of being Jesus’ earthly father. A carpenter by trade, Joseph not only provided for his family but also played a pivotal role in shaping the life of the Messiah. He taught Jesus earthly skills, imparted wisdom, and guided Him in the ways of faith.

Joseph’s journey wasn’t without challenges, yet he demonstrated profound understanding and compassion. In a society quick to cast judgment, he chose the path of grace. Can we fathom the depth of Joseph’s love and faithfulness?

Reflecting on Joseph’s perspective challenges us to emulate his qualities – understanding, humility, and obedience to God’s plan. In a world often filled with judgment and condemnation, Joseph’s silent strength speaks volumes.

So, would you be as understanding as Joseph? His story encourages us to extend grace, embrace the unexpected, and trust in the divine plan even when faced with uncertainties. In Joseph’s obedience, we find a lesson that goes beyond his role in the nativity story – a lesson in unwavering faith and the transformative power of understanding.

Posted in Storytelling

Remembering Valerie (Storytelling)

Valerie, a warm-hearted woman with a passion for cooking, filled her home with the aroma of love and savory delights. Her kitchen was a sanctuary where laughter echoed alongside the clinking of utensils, as she prepared meals for her family and friends.

Despite her culinary talents, life posed challenges for Valerie. Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she felt the urgency to create lasting memories with her loved ones. Yet, her family, preoccupied with their own lives, inadvertently distanced themselves, assuming they were sparing her from the burden of their busy schedules.

Valerie, in her late 70s and early 80s, faced the challenging reality of Alzheimer’s disease, a diagnosis she had kept hidden from her family for a couple of years. As the symptoms progressed, her days became a fluctuation between clarity and confusion, a stark reminder of the relentless nature of dementia.

Concerned about her deteriorating condition, Valerie made the difficult decision to sell her home and transition into a specialized dementia care facility. However, the weight of disclosing her diagnosis to her family proved to be an emotional hurdle.

Valerie’s three sons immersed themselves in golf, sports, and the relentless pursuit of their own ambitions. Her daughters, entangled in the demands of their families, struggled to find time for meaningful connections. The grandchildren, once regular visitors under Valerie’s care, began to fade away as her condition worsened.

Faced with the cruel reality of Alzheimer’s, Valerie made a heartfelt decision. She chose to check herself into a care facility, parting with cherished belongings to simplify her life. Determined to savor every remaining moment with her family and friends, Valerie longed for genuine love and shared memories.

In the midst of her emotional journey, Valerie found solace in her Christian faith. Despite her fading memories, her pastor brought Bible study to her, creating a sacred space where the words of comfort and wisdom resonated. Two verses that became her pillars of strength were Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” and Psalm 23:4 – “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”

Valerie’s home became a gathering place, not only for family but for friends who wished to surround her with love. They shared stories, laughter, and embraced the bittersweet reality of the present moment. Valerie reveled in the simple pleasures, relishing the taste of her favorite dishes and the warmth of familiar faces.

As she prepared to transition into the care facility, Valerie emphasized her desire for love and memories rather than pity. She knew her time was limited, but she refused to let Alzheimer’s define her legacy. In the twilight of her life, she became a beacon of strength, a testament to resilience in the face of adversity.

Her family and friends, inspired by her courage, rallied around her, creating a tapestry of shared experiences that would endure beyond the grasp of memory loss. They learned that love transcends the boundaries of time and that true connection is forged in the moments of vulnerability.

In the quiet moments, Valerie found solace in a positive quote that resonated deeply with her – “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Embracing this sentiment, she embarked on the next chapter of her life, fortified by faith, surrounded by love, and leaving behind a legacy of warmth and resilience for generations to come.

Facts on dementia:

1. **Progression Varies:** Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease, and its course can vary from person to person. Valerie experienced fluctuations in her cognitive abilities, a common aspect of the disease.

2. **Communication Challenges:** People with Alzheimer’s often face difficulties in expressing themselves and comprehending complex information. Valerie struggled with the idea of explaining her condition to her family.

3. **Decision-Making Challenges:** Individuals with dementia may find it challenging to make complex decisions. Valerie grappled with the monumental choice of moving into a care facility.

Talking to family about dementia:

1. **Open Communication:** While it’s daunting, open communication is crucial. Families should create a supportive environment where concerns about memory loss or cognitive decline can be discussed without judgment.

2. **Early Disclosure:** Early diagnosis allows families to plan for the future. Valerie, by keeping her diagnosis a secret, faced the challenge of informing her family when her symptoms were more advanced.

3. **Understanding Emotions:** Both the person with dementia and their family members may experience a range of emotions. It’s essential to approach the conversation with empathy, patience, and a willingness to listen.

Treatment Options:

1. **Medication:** There are medications available that can temporarily alleviate symptoms or slow down the progression of Alzheimer’s. However, these are not cures, and their effectiveness varies.

2. **Therapeutic Interventions:** Cognitive stimulation therapy and reminiscence therapy are among the interventions that can help improve the quality of life for those with dementia.

3. **Specialized Care Facilities:** Moving to a care facility equipped to handle the unique needs of dementia patients can provide a safer and more supportive

Posted in Storytelling

From Longing to Solitude: Martha’s Journey on the Lonely Coast”(Storytelling)

Martha, a spirited woman with a heart full of love, decided to embark on a journey that would bring her closer to her children. Leaving the bustling cityscape of New York, she ventured 2700 miles west to California, hopeful for the warmth of family bonds. Little did she know that this relocation would unfold into a story of unexpected solitude and heartache.

Martha’s daughter, Cindi, and her grandchildren lived on the West Coast. Martha, eager to be an active part of their lives, thought the move would foster closeness. However, the reality she faced was far from her expectations.

Despite Martha’s genuine efforts, her children, especially Cindi, seemed distant and unresponsive. The warmth she anticipated was replaced with an icy silence that left her feeling adrift in a sea of loneliness. Martha couldn’t comprehend why her children, whom she had moved across the country to be near, were now seemingly indifferent to her presence.

Cindi’s attitude was particularly perplexing. Instead of embracing the newfound proximity, she questioned Martha’s decision to move and, at times, callously suggested that she should go back to where she came from. The hurtful words echoed in Martha’s heart, leaving scars on the once joyous woman who had left everything behind for family.

It was a puzzle for Martha – the disconnection, the rejection. Why were her beautiful children acting so ungrateful? How could they disregard the sacrifice she made for them?

Martha, faced with this emotional turmoil, sought solace in various ways. She found comfort in journaling, pouring her emotions onto the pages that became a silent confidant. She joined local community groups, hoping to build connections beyond her immediate family. In these activities, Martha discovered a resilient spirit within herself.

She sought professional counseling to navigate the complexities of her strained relationships. Through therapy, Martha learned that she couldn’t control her children’s actions but could control how she responded to the situation. The counselor helped her develop coping strategies, focusing on self-care and finding joy in small moments.

Over time, Martha realized that while she couldn’t force her children to change, she could nurture her own well-being. She embraced the beauty of the West Coast, explored new hobbies, and made friends who became her chosen family.

Her and her daughter rarely spoke but thankfully she made friends and when her grandchildren got older they came to visit.

Martha’s story serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Despite the unexpected twists and heartaches, she found strength within herself to build a fulfilling life on the lonely coast, proving that even in solitude, one can discover a sense of belonging and joy.

Posted in Blessed, Blogging, Family, Uncategorized

Cherishing the Blessing of a Good Husband: A Personal Reflection


Hello everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts, particularly with all the wonderful women out there who, like me, are fortunate to have an amazing husband, partner, or significant other. This is my second chance at love, and I feel truly blessed to have found someone special. Despite being an ordained minister, I’m only human, and life’s stresses can sometimes take their toll.

There are moments when I, too, falter—times when frustration and impatience and yes even anger at a specific situation has crept in. Yet, I am grateful to have a Christian husband by my side, a man who embodies qualities of patience and kindness, softer spoken, not loud, mean or arrogant. It’s a reminder that even those of us who strive to spread love and understanding can stumble.

I want to emphasize the importance of taking a pause in our busy lives to truly appreciate the good people around us, especially a supportive partner. In my case, it’s a husband who stands by me with unwavering patience and kindness. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life, but moments of reflection help us recognize the love and support we’re surrounded by.

Let’s make a conscious effort to cherish those who bring positivity into our lives. Whether it’s a husband, boyfriend, significant other, or partner, they contribute to our well-being in ways both big and small. Today, I encourage you all to take a moment to express gratitude and love for the wonderful individuals who make our journeys richer.

He makes cookies with me and makes a great birthday cake.

He works hard most of the time too hard.

Growing old with your best friend and life partner is a journey that unveils the true beauty of companionship. There’s something profoundly special about finding that person who not only understands you but embraces you—flaws and all. My heart swells with gratitude as I reflect on the incredible bond I share with my husband.

In the tapestry of life, the threads of our connection have woven a story of acceptance and love. There’s a unique joy in realizing that someone sees you, truly sees you, and loves you for everything you are. The quirks, imperfections, and idiosyncrasies become endearing aspects of a shared history.

To have a partner who not only tolerates but celebrates your uniqueness is a rare and beautiful gift. It’s the comfort of being yourself without fear of judgment—a sanctuary of love where both strengths and weaknesses are acknowledged and cherished.

As the years pass, this journey of growing old together becomes a testament to the strength of our connection. We navigate the highs and lows hand in hand, finding solace in the familiarity of each other’s presence. There’s a certain magic in having a front-row seat to witness the evolution of a relationship, deepening with time like a fine wine.

My husband is amazing

In moments of joy and in times of challenge, my husband stands by my side, and I by his. The shared laughter and the shared tears become the mortar that fortifies the foundation of our companionship. It’s a partnership built on understanding, respect, and unwavering support.

So, here’s to growing old with the one who knows the melody of your heart. Here’s to the quiet moments and the shared adventures. And most importantly, here’s to accepting and embracing each other—flaws and all. I am immensely grateful for the gift of a lifelong companion, for a journey that continues to unfold, and for a love that only deepens with the passage of time.

Wishing everyone a day filled with appreciation and warmth.

Deb

P/s

Love you Tom

Posted in Uncategorized

Embrace life’s simplicity and break free from unnecessary seriousness

Embrace life’s simplicity and break free from unnecessary seriousness. If something feels amiss, take action—don’t overcomplicate. I believe in proactive living, steering clear of stagnation. If a situation persists, I choose serenity by distancing myself. This philosophy applies to relationships, careers, friendships, and more. Our existence is meant for joy, not suffering.

Life doesn’t need to be so complex we make it that way.

I am happy with a decent roof over my head a good meal and surrounded by people I enjoy and who enjoy me.

Not a fan of drama or always complaining, sometimes I get off track but soon bring myself back to center by reading my Bible.

Find solace in the Bible, cherish family moments, relish good meals, and savor fresh air. Bid farewell to defeatism; cultivate a positive mindset. Here are two uplifting Bible verses and a daily positive quote:

  1. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” – Philippians 4:4
  2. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.” – Psalm 28:7

Positive quote for the day: “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

Posted in Family Dinner, Uncategorized

The Importance of Family Meals: Nourishing Bonds and Hearts

In our fast-paced world, where each family member often has a different schedule and set of obligations, finding time to sit down together for a family breakfast, lunch, or dinner may seem like a challenge. However, the simple act of sharing a meal can have profound effects on the closeness and communication within a family. Let’s explore why this tradition is essential and how it can bring a family closer together.

**The Power of Family Meals:**

1. **A Time for Connection:** Family meals provide a unique opportunity for family members to come together and connect on a daily basis. Sharing a meal allows for conversation, laughter, and the exchange of stories, helping family members understand each other’s lives and experiences better.

2. **Building Stronger Relationships:** Sitting down together regularly strengthens the bonds between family members. It fosters a sense of unity, trust, and support within the family, making everyone feel valued and loved.

3. **Communication and Sharing:** It’s during these moments that family members can discuss their day, express concerns, or share their dreams and aspirations. Open and honest communication is vital for the overall well-being of a family.

4. **Cultivating Healthy Eating Habits:** Regular family meals can also contribute to healthier eating habits. When parents or guardians set a positive example by serving nutritious meals, it encourages children to make healthier food choices.

5. **Teaching Values:** The act of coming together for meals can also teach important values like gratitude, respect, and discipline. These values help shape children into responsible and empathetic individuals.

**Bible Verses on Family:**

1. *Ephesians 6:4* – “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This verse highlights the importance of parental guidance and nurturing in a family.

2. *Proverbs 22:6* – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This verse emphasizes the role of parents in guiding and teaching their children.

**Positive Quote about Eating Dinner Together:**

*”The fondest memories are made when gathered around the table.”* – This quote beautifully encapsulates the idea that the most cherished moments are often shared during family meals. It’s a reminder of the warmth and joy that can be found when we come together to dine as a family.

In conclusion, making the effort to sit down as a family for meals is an investment in the well-being and closeness of your loved ones. It’s a time for connection, communication, and the nurturing of values that will stay with your family for a lifetime. So, let’s make a commitment to prioritize family meals and cherish the moments we share around the table.

Posted in genealogy, family history, Uncategorized

Unveiling Family Mysteries: My Genealogical Journey Found While Repacking Old Boxes

Hello, everyone! I hope you’ve been well. I apologize for my brief absence; it’s been a whirlwind of activity as we prepare for our big move from Ohio to the sunny shores of Florida. But today, I’m excited to share with you an unexpected blessing that has recently come my way.

You see, I’m an avid genealogy and history enthusiast. Whether it’s local history, state government, worldwide events, or the intricacies of family history, I’m captivated by it all. For me, delving into genealogy was an absolute must.

The Mystery of My Maternal Grandmother:
My journey into the world of genealogy took an intriguing turn because of my maternal grandmother. She was born in 1902, and as many of you might be aware, the record-keeping practices of that time left much to be desired. Even today, obtaining adoption information from courts can be a challenging endeavor. My grandmother, however, knew she was adopted but seldom spoke about it. When she passed away at the remarkable age of 94 in 1996, I made it my mission to uncover the truth about her origins.

The Quest for Answers:
From 1997 onwards, I embarked on a relentless pursuit to unearth the secrets of my grandmother’s past. I can still vividly recall spending endless hours in libraries, poring over dusty records, and combing through archives. Back then, home computers weren’t as common as they are today, so the library became my haven for research.

The Surprising Discovery:
Recently, as I was going through old boxes of belongings, a hodgepodge of memories accumulated over the years, I stumbled upon a tattered book titled “America Illustrated,” dating back to the late 19th century. My love for books compelled me to keep it, and little did I know that within its fragile pages lay the answers I had been seeking for over two decades.

Inside the pages of this aged book were documents that illuminated my grandmother’s early years spent in an orphanage. Astonishingly, the answer to my lifelong question had been tucked away in a storage closet right next to our apartment all these years. It’s incredible to think that my mother had possession of this crucial piece of our family history before her passing in 2000.

Reflections and Unexpected Blessings:
As we approach the latter part of 2023, I find myself reflecting on this incredible journey. For 23 years, I unknowingly carried the key to my grandmother’s true identity with me, hidden in plain sight. It’s a powerful reminder that life’s most profound blessings can often be right under our noses, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal themselves.

Moving Forward:
In conclusion, I want to emphasize the importance of remaining open to life’s unexpected blessings. It was my granddaughter, Celina, who presented us with the incredible opportunity to move to Florida. This move has brought my daughter and me closer than ever, and we’re on the verge of settling into a beautiful new home. While this journey has been at times chaotic and daunting, it has been nothing short of thrilling.

So, dear readers, as you go about your day, remember that miracles and blessings are all around us, just waiting to be discovered. Whether it’s finding answers to long-held questions or embracing new adventures, life is full of surprises. I encourage you to be kind to others and, if the opportunity arises, be a blessing to someone you may not even know. Sometimes, it’s as simple as holding the door open for a stranger.

Wishing you all a day filled with unexpected joys and blessings. Until next time, peace.

Posted in Ancestry, Roots

Embracing Our Roots: Family History, DNA, and the Power of Traditions

Good morning, everybody! I hope you’re all having a great week so far. Today, I want to dive into a topic that’s close to my heart – family history, our DNA, and the significance of preserving our ancestral traditions.

I firmly believe that, in some way, we are all connected. If we trace our lineage back to Adam and Eve, we are part of one enormous family tree. However, what I’d like to emphasize today is the importance of understanding our family history and passing down cherished traditions.

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to forget the customs and practices that have shaped our families for generations. It could be a beloved family recipe, a particular craft, a unique style of music or dance. These are the threads that weave together the fabric of our heritage, and they deserve to be preserved.

For those like my maternal grandmother, who was adopted, the journey to uncovering one’s family history can be an arduous one. I’ve spent over two decades trying to uncover her roots, searching for clues about her biological parents. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, from frustration to moments of sheer joy. But my goal remains the same – to solve the mystery of her past. I know her family goes back to Switzerland.

I’ve often wondered why my grandmother chose not to discuss her adoption information to us. I mean we knew she was adopted but she refused to talk about her parents. Did it bring up painful memories, or was she too young to remember the circumstances that led her to an orphanage in early 1900s in Cleveland? Sadly, she took those secrets with her when she passed away. I respect her silence but long to uncover the story of her origins.

I’ve reached out to institutions like BeechBrook, which now holds records of the old Cleveland Protestant Orphanage Asylum. Without knowledge of her birth name, I’ve hit a roadblock in obtaining her adoption records. The journey continues, but the mystery remains unsolved. I find many courts (probate) don’t like to reveal information, but let’s be real my grandmother was born in 1902 passed in 1996. I’m sure someone could help me.

Despite this challenge, I’ve found solace and purpose in reconnecting with my dads Croatian heritage.

My dads family hails from Croatia, the former Yugoslavia, and I recall the music that filled our kitchen on Sundays when I was a child. Back then, it was an annoyance, but today, I blast that same music with pride. I’ve learned treasured recipes and started writing a book to ensure future generations can savor our culinary heritage. I’ve even reconnected with family in Croatia, uncovering a fascinating Croatian background.

I want to stress the importance of family traditions and discovering our heritage. We need to take time today to talk to our parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts cousins.

We must learn about our ancestors’ struggles and triumphs to truly appreciate who we are today. Our roots are our foundation, and by embracing them, we find a profound sense of belonging and pride.

I’d like to leave you with a positive quote on family and tradition: “In every conceivable manner, the family is a link to our past, bridge to our future.” – Alex Haley

And a Bible verse on family: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

I hope you all have a blessed day, and I look forward to sharing more about my Croatian heritage in a future post. Until then, cherish your family traditions and the stories that connect us through time.